"Mini" Cupcake Confession

I've found myself a bit flaky when it comes to my diet lately. When I say "a bit," what I really mean is that I want to eat anything and everything in sight. I am human, after all, so that shouldn't come as a surprise. However, I have been surprised by how strong the urge can be at times.

A couple of weeks ago, my church had a cupcake social for parents, and that's when everything started to go downhill. I was going to abstain, but then I saw the most delectable red velvet cake mini cupcakes and couldn't resist. My rationale: this will be my cheat day. Then I saw the lemon mini cupcakes and then another and another until, truth be told, EIGHT cupcakes had "found their way" into my mouth and down into my "unexpectant" and (now) unhappy belly.

Not until after I had done the damage did I think about the results that I have been training so hard for and how what I had just consumed didn't necessarily negate all of the hard work, but it definitely didn't help it. Why, oh why, didn't I think about that beforehand? Again, the pull of the cupcakes was too much for this mere woman to sustain...but that doesn't make it ok. Granted, it had been awhile since I had had a cheat meal, but come on, EIGHT mini cupcakes. (Notice I keep putting "mini" in there.) Overall, I was disappointed with myself. Not until later did I realize even more so how much damage I had done.

Later that night, not only did my stomach HATE me, but I also had a headache and was sweating like crazy. My body was rejecting those cupcakes. It was angry at me for my weakness in the time of temptation, so now it was punishing me. Those were some of the more immediate side effects. What happened next was unexpected by me. The next day, all I wanted to was sugar sugar sugar. I wanted it in any form that I could get it which brought me back to the realization that sugar should be classified as an addictive drug. When the body is not used to having it and then has as much as mine did, it wants to more and more.

I now understand why it is so challenging for some people to give up their sugary drinks that come in the forms of sodas, sports drinks, coffees, teas, and even fruit "juices." The body is used to having a certain daily allowance and when the needs aren't met, the body is unhappy. So, now that my body (even though that was the first bit of processed sugar it has had in many many days, possibly weeks) had a taste, it wanted more. What's so difficult about that, though, is that I knew at that moment that I COULD NOT have any more. And fortunately, I have a trainer that I alerted to my mini cupcake indulgence. He promptly told me that I am not to have a cheat meal for the rest of May. That was May 2nd. It is now May 11th. Talk about difficult.

The times are getting easier as I am getting farther away from that infamous mini cupcake day of horror (May 1), and I know that my body is reverting back to what it is used to. I just know that I must be extraordinarily diligent in what I am doing on a daily basis. In order to do this, I have to follow a few rules I have established for myself.

• Have the intentional meals. 
• Take the time to prepare myself mentally and physically each day. 
• Be aware of the food temptations in the school office, cafe, etc. 
• Don't think that justification will work off the poor food choice.
• Remove myself or the tempting food item.
• Remember that "mini" anything means you'll foolishly eat more of them (see justification above!).

Overall, I've learned my lesson and as much as I still what to eat what I want when I want, my indulgence in the minis helped me learn that I need to focus more than ever on the results that I want to achieve. Although one cupcake might not make a noticeable difference in one day, days worth of cheating will add up, and I don't want to wonder how I ended up so far away from my original plan.

Living the Gym Life

Lately, I have been thinking about what I do and why I do it in regard to the gym. Some would say that I am addicted to working out while others understand my passion for it and see nothing wrong with the time, energy, and intensity I put into the process of shaping my body into what I want it to be. This introspection has caused me to examine this process that I have gone through and the development of this excitement I have for lifting something heavy, putting it down, just to lift it again…or for running miles and miles at a time.

What I have come to realize is that awhile back I used to “go to the gym.” What that meant is that I went to the gym with no specific purpose other than to “get in a good workout”…whatever that means. I went to lift weights. I went to do some cardio. I went. But I didn’t have a real purpose for my workouts. I didn’t have a goal and I didn’t really have a care when I went. Instead, I did it because I wanted to look good and “be healthy.” Now, as I look back, I understand that there was nothing wrong with that because it got me into the gym. It helped jumpstart my attitude by providing me with a baseline so that today I have a totally different outlook in regard to the gym.

See, “going to the gym” is something that many people do to “balance” what they do outside of the gym. They think that a good sweat session is going to balance out all of the things negative things they might do on a daily basis. Think about it. We have 24 hours in a day. If eight of those are spent sleeping, and two of them are in the gym or on the trails or wherever exercising, that leaves 14 hours in the day for “life” to sabotage those two hours that you spent trying to craft the body to get the desired results. And what about the days not spent in the gym at all? What temptations might we face in those 14 hours? What meals are we cheating with? What sugary drinks might we be consuming?

How are we guarding ourselves to be able to withstand the natural inclinations we all have to eat the foods that we know are bad but taste so good?

Gym Life. It’s time to take what we do with “going to the gym” and make it a way of life…the Gym Life. The person who adopts this type of lifestyle understands that going to the gym is not enough. The person who accepts this lifestyle knows that the other 14 hours are as important if not more important than the two spent in the actual gym. The person who assimilates to this lifestyle is prepared for the “real world” where “life” doesn’t have to take over every time someone brings in treats for the office or school and is definitely not controlled by the sugar-laden holidays. This person is focused on the results that they want and know what it takes to get them.

Can they have fun in that type of life? Are they forced into a life of never eating anything delectable ever again? Of course they can have fun, and of course the delectable treats that they might crave are there for them if they choose to have them on as a cheat meal that happens every so often…as opposed to more often than not. However, the person living the gym life knows the importance of getting back on track and adhering to the discipline.

One of the detractors from the Gym Life might be people around us who don’t understand our goals and make fun of the passion. Living the Gym Life doesn’t mean giving those people up (unless they are caustic relationships), but it does mean that we need to have strong, like-minded individuals in our lives to help motivate us on our journeys. No one gets “there” totally alone, so choose to surround yourself with inspirational forces.

Gym life isn’t about restrictions. It is about opening up to a new world where fitness is a friend, iron becomes your life force, and sweat marks are your crowning glory. 

What Are You Waiting For?

As humans with a purpose, we find it necessary to plan and prepare for different events in our lives. This planning and preparation are good things, but sometimes depending on the goal or the event that is upcoming, our efforts do not align with the end goal. And that is where the problem lies. Out of all the areas of life where there seems to be the most procrastination, our health and fitness seems to be the time where we think that the "later" principle is the most effective way to go about living our lives.

• "I'm going to get in shape when...
• "I will start eating better in a few..."
• "It's not the right time for me to start exercising because..."
• "When my life gets to a normal routine, I'll get back in the gym."

All of these excuses (and yes they are excuses) might seem valid to us at the time they are said; however, there is nothing valid about them aside from the overarching theme of procrastination. While the end result of living a healthier and fitter lifestyle is a great goal to work towards, none of these excuses show that there is any actual work being put into achieving the goal. Waiting to start a healthier life is putting the vitality and quality of your life on the back burner. An example that happens often is as follows:

A bride knows that she is getting married in 9 months. She wants to look great for the wedding, so she knows that she needs to get in the gym. The plans for the wedding start interrupting the time that she schedules to get in the gym, but her goal of looking great is still there. She begins to get discouraged as the time goes by because she hasn't been able to do what she wants to. Now, the wedding is 1 month away, and she is desperate. "A trainer! That will get me the results I want," she thinks. She commits to spending time with a trainer twice a week for the next month, but doesn't see the results she wants to see immediately. (Enter any event here: reunion, vacation, etc)

So, what happened? Why didn't she get the results she wanted despite working so hard for that month? The answer is simple: procrastination. She wanted the results, but she waited too long to go after what she wanted. She knew that she had time, but she did not account for the time it would take to see results. We must all remember that we don't put weight on overnight, so we sure as heck aren't going to drop it overnight. 

What could she have done differently? 

Don't Wait. Instead of waiting to have the right time to devote for the results she wanted, she should have made time in her schedule early on. Once we commit to ourselves, there should be nothing that will take away from the time spent in there. Personally, my gym time is sacred. I need it and make time for it, whether it be 5 a.m. or 10:00 p.m., I make the time.

Find someone to be accountable to. It's great that she hired a trainer, but she waited too late to do that as well. Waiting until a month before the event was too much unused time where she could have been under the care of someone who would hold her accountable. While everyone may not want a trainer or have the money for one, everyone has a friend that can hold him or her accountable (and this person doesn't even have to work out). There are also websites out there that can motivate us to keep pushing (dailymile.com is great...for any type of fitness). Accountability is the key here. Having someone to answer to keeps us honest.

While I chose to use fitness as the example here, this principle of not waiting for the "right time" and realizing that we must make the time is useful in all areas of our lives. As a high school teacher, I see different types of students all the time, but what I see that stands out for the top academic and/or the top athletic students is that they don't wait to begin making themselves better. Instead, they work hard starting early. As ninth graders, they are putting in the work while in the classroom, on the field/court, and at home while studying. They create a work ethic that many other students are not willing to abide by. When they become seniors, it is no surprise that they are in the top ten of their class. It is no surprise that they are getting scholarships. They put in work. Because of that effort, they are rewarded with the achievements the receive.

College, careers, education, and more all have opportunities where we need to think about getting off our butts and making a conscious decision to get more out of our lives. To stop waiting for the spectacular to happen and start making the spectacular happen. Ultimately, we can't be upset with the results that we get if we procrastinate, avoiding going through the processes that could reshape who we are.

My challenge to you (and of course to myself) is to go after whatever it is. Create the goal, share it, get accountability, and attack it.

I believe in you, but more important, you need to believe in you.

Routines...Not All Bad, Not Always Good

Routine.

What comes to mind when you think of the word routine? For me, words like structure, safety, security, and reliability come to mind. I think of the ways routines tend to control our lives and keep us our lives flowing almost on autopilot. We don't have to think when we are in our routines because they become second nature to us. Think of how many times you have driven to work and completely missed the entire drive there. It seems as if you have just arrived there because you didn't have to think about the route; it is a routine. Routines can be good for some elements in our lives. I know I love having the set routine of putting my children to bed - 8 (youngest), 8:15 (middle), and 8:30 (oldest). And through teaching, what I have found out about children in general is that they need routines in order to be successful. They need not be rigid, but there must be some type of guidelines. In this sense, routines are helpful and necessary.

But what if routines are holding us back?

When I think of the gym and associate the word routine with it, I now cringe. In this setting, routine has come to mean boredom, stagnation, complacency, and (worst of all) plateaus. As a person who is not new to the weight room, routines have helped me to a certain extent, but they are also holding me back. Now, I don't necessarily mean that there is always a problem with a set regimen of what to muscle groups to exercise on certain days. But it is important to know that any workout must be adjusted every 4-6 weeks because the muscles will start to get used to exercises. For me, the problem has been in playing it too safe while in there.

I have been learning from my trainers that I am much stronger than I thought I was and much more capable of handling heavier weight than ever. On Sunday, I worked my hamstrings quite hard, doing exercises that I'd never done before with weight that I didn't think I could move. But you know what, I did it all. What my trainers are teaching me is that unless I push myself harder, I'll keep getting the same results that I have already been getting, but I will not improve. And isn't that what I'm trying to do? Improve?

So tonight, I decided to try to put into practice what I have been learning. With no one but me to push myself, I knew that it would be tough, but I decided to attack the body part that I like to take it easy on (but that I want the biggest results) - LEGS. I had to get my mind prepared for the work that I was about to put in, so with headphones in and a random playlist, I made it happen. One area in particular that I tend to go light is with back squats because they make me nervous. Normally, I'm happy with a 25 plate on each end, totaling 95 pounds. Tonight, that 95 felt a little too easy, ok way too easy. So, I decided to increase it to 115. After being able to get out 15 reps at 115, I knew I needed to increase. By now, I'm definitely out of my normal routine because I am pushing myself. So, now I replaced the weight with 45-pound plates, meaning I was lifting 135 pounds. For this weight, and because I'm not crazy, I decided to get a spot. Basically, when lifting alone, I have also found that being smart is better than possibly getting hurt. As a result, I found someone who looked like he could pick up me and the weight if I were to fall. So, with comfort I started squatting...and got to 10 easy! My spotter said that I could easily add more weight. He suggested another 45 plate on each side, but I thought I'd be safe and add 25s instead. My last set ended with six reps of 185 pounds.

In the past, without the help of my trainers, I cannot say that I would have gotten to this point. My fear of the unknown would have kept me back. While my routine has worked in the past to a certain extent, I know that I can be doing so much more.

Of course I have to take time to relate this to real life in some way. The routines that we get sucked into with our daily lives can be just as dangerous to our personal growth because they can lead to plateaus. Getting stuck in a rut in any part of our lives can be so debilitating. I'm not saying that we need to not be happy with the progress we make, but we definitely need to keep moving forward. Shaking up the routine every now and then can do us all a world of good.

Don't Think About It

In the past week and a half where I have had three or four training sessions, I have heard the words "Don't think about it" more often than I have ever heard it in my life (exaggeration, but there is some truth in jest). Although I have said these words quite often to people I have trained, I now understand how it feels to be on the receiving end of that simple sentence. 

Most of the times that the trainers (Rick and Najome) have said these wise words have been a result of my struggling through a rep and my mind has started taking over in a bad way. I begin to think of how heavy the weight is or how tired my muscles are, allowing doubt to begin creeping in. My mind tells me "You can stop"; "The weights too heavy"; "At least you got the first few reps". However, my trainers know that the mind (if not properly focused) can hinder even the best efforts in the weight room. If I decide to listen to the negativity that might surface in my mind, then I would not make the gains that I want. I would become a quitter, and that's just not happening. So, despite the pain (good pain, of course) that I am experiencing, I would rather push through that than living with the disappointment of giving up.

So, it made me think of other ways that this effective little sentence can work...

In life, there are so many opportunities where we are presented with obstacles where a decision must be made as to what to do. During some of those moments, we decide to think and over think the different possibilities and outcomes, resulting in a lack of action. When we spend too much time thinking about a situation instead of making a decision and facing the consequences (both good and bad), then we are stuck at a standstill where we will not progress. Regardless of the consequence, we can grow from any experience. (Believe me, I have done my fair share of growing through the good and the bad lately.) However, if we decide to think about it and then think some more, then we fail to take action and live life. Instead, we exist instead of live.

Now, not all decisions in life should be thoughtless. Please do not misconstrue what I am saying here. Major decisions should be made carefully with a deliberation on the outcomes. But what must happen is that a decision must be made. Should I do this or shouldn't I? If we get stuck on this question, then we will never do anything...at least not anything worthwhile.

One of my favorite poems is "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. Many of my literature students have come up with the meaning behind the poem as "take the road less traveled"; however, within my past few years of teaching, I have arrived at a different meaning behind the poem.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.	20

To me, the speaker of the poem is simply calling for the reader to take action. Instead of standing at this divergence in the road, wondering which road would be best to travel, the speaker of the poem took action. He or she decided to take a road. Both were "just as fair" and had ben worn "really about the same," so the going down the road less traveled does not hold the main point of the poem to me. Instead, it is important that the reader knows to choose something. "Don't think about it."

What I am trying to remember in all of the new experiences that I am finding myself in is that if it scares me, that is no reason not to try it. Instead, I am learning to make the decision and commit to whatever it is. I'm learning to turn off my mind when the "going gets tough" so that I can make a breakthrough.

My Type of Love

One of my students asked me to write about what I believe love is. She and her psychology classmates had to ask different people to respond to this request. Here's what my response is...

Before I can answer what Love is to me, I think I need to answer what it is not.

Love is not all about giving everything of yourself to another person, allowing him or her to consume all of who you, as an individual, are. Love is not about releasing a part of yourself in order to make room for that other person. Love is not something that one simply falls in and out of when it is convenient. Love is not self-serving. Love is not one single thing to one single person and can take on many different shapes depending on the relationship that one has with the other person, meaning it can be a familial relationship, one between friends, or even romantic. Love is a word that is thrown around as often and as irreverently as “God,” both of which have lost meaning to our ever declining social and moral standards. Love is not a reason to do or not to do something. Love is not to be taken lightly nor to be said without truly (and I mean that) feeling that emotion toward another.

When I think of what Love is, I immediately reflect on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7:

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It

does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no

record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It

always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Through this verse, God has given us the wisdom to know exactly what Love looks like and how we should act and treat those whom we truly love. I like that the first part, before all else, we are told that “Love is patient.” Why must love be patient? Well, it shows that we must be patient in our relationships with others so that we are not quick to judge, thus leading to wrong decisions. We should be patient in our search for the romantic love, allowing God to provide us with the person whom He feels is our match. We should be patient because when we love someone, there are going to be moments when they wrong us and we must have the patience for them to realize their wrongs. And if they never realize it, we must provide the forgiveness if that person is someone whom we truly love. Patience is the key to exhibiting and receiving Godly love. Those who know God can see what Love looks like and know that God is operating when he brings people into our lives. This does not mean that those who do not know God can know love as well – of course they do. Their understanding of what Love is can be quite strong; however, without the knowledge of the forgiveness and grace that God extends to us because of His love for us, their perceptions of love may be different.

Love, for me, is light. Where there is love, there is warmth and joy and contentment. This type of love brings more than just happiness because happiness can be affected by circumstances while contentment and joy are felt with the soul. I have love for my children, my husband, my parents, my friends, my students…and all of them are different types of love but love nonetheless.

Writing this has made me realize how much I take the word Love for granted and how much I don’t use it enough with the people who matter to me.

Humbled in the Weight Room

Today, I had the privilege of having a personal training session with Rick, a trainer at my gym. I am not too proud to admit that I went into the appointment very skeptical because I also have a background in personal training. When we set the date last week for today's session, I honestly thought that I would be told that I really didn't need the sessions because I had my stuff together.

Oh how highly we think of ourselves at times when we think we know more than our instructors...

I am a person who has pride in what I can do, but I am not a person who is so proud that I can't admit when I have been wrong. When we began our session, I was approaching the biceps part of my upper body routine. He asked what I usually do for biceps, and shamelessly, I rattled off several different exercises and even deliberated with him regarding the correct term for the exercise I call 21s. Thinking that he would be impressed with my knowledge of exercises to target my arms, I thought we would start doing one of the exercises I listed. Instead, he said, "Have you tried peak repeats?" Um, no. No, I had not because I had no idea what they were. However, I was excited to learn something new. From this new exercise to a new (better and correct) way to perform hammer curls to reverse grip curls, my biceps were singing, letting me know how hard I had just hit them. The failure (and that's a good term in weight lifting) occurred that I never felt before, and I liked it. A lot!

From the biceps, we moved to triceps. Here is where I learned even more about myself. These exercises were not new, but the way I had to perform them and the intensity I used to push myself was something new to me. Never before have I ever felt as if I couldn't lift the bar. I even admitted to Rick that "my trying to move the bar and its not going anywhere is the same way I feel in my dreams when I'm trying to punch something but my arms aren't working." By the end of the superset, I knew that I had pushed my muscles to the max and given them everything that I had. 

The last learning experience came in the abdominal workout. I pride myself on what I thought was my strong core, knowing that I can hold a plank for at least 2 minutes as well as complete a slew of other exercises relatively easily. Then, I learned how weak my abdominal muscles actually are. After several different exercises where I experience more of that good failure, I was met with the awakening that I may not be as strong as I once believed I am. While this realization may daunt some, I see it as a challenge.

I want to be good at whatever I do. I want to walk out of a weight room knowing that I gave everything I had that day, and today was the first time in a long time that I felt that way. Without a doubt, I push myself in the weight room, but having a him there to humble me and push me at the same time was just what I needed to experience to understand that I must keep an open mind. I often say that the students who believe they know everything before the teacher begins to teach are the ones who will not grow. Instead, they will always says "I know..." when the teacher tries to help him or her. In this case, it would have been hypocritical for me to have had that same mindset, though I do know a lot because of my background. However, I also know that there are always different strategies to improve and that closing my mind off to a new experience would prevent me from growing and making the gains that I pursue when I enter the gym.

Because of my first-ever personal training session, I walked away with a new appreciation for encountering new experiences:

1. Approach the situation with an open mind where you want to learn more.
2. Avoid relying on what you know and be in the moment so that you can learn new information. 
3. Be excited about the chance to have a new learning experience.
4. Don't be afraid that you may be humbled by the experience. 

So now, the trainer has a trainer. 

(By the way, this is the second time today that I have admitted to being wrong. The first one, I apologized to the person as soon as I realized my mistake. This second one is such a teachable moment that I had to write about it.)